Our culture is filled with qualifiers. All these qualifications are unreasonable and unattainable. Unfortunately, we still fall prey to them. The question is, how do we pick ourselves up?
I am sure at some point in your life you have thought you weren’t good enough. Something along the lines of not being pretty enough, rich enough, talented enough, or just not enough.
I still find myself battling thoughts like these as I fall asleep.
If you met me in person though you would never think I thought this way about myself. You might think I’m even conceited.
The truth? I fill voids. Silence and loneliness being the scariest and deepest.
Why am I telling you this? Because I wrote this blog post a week ago and started reading it for edits.
Originally it talked about being confident and blaming qualifications on society. Which are both great topics but I.t began to sound like a Gary V speech (nothing wrong with Mr. V but just not my style of communication.)
Something I strive for in everyone of my blog posts is authenticity. A way for my readers to connect to the things that I write and think. This isn’t easy but I do my best and I hope at the end the day you do connect in some odd way. I want you to see that I’m not trying to preach some kind of propaganda or positivity at you. Understand that I’m taking this journey with you and I am just writing my thoughts along the way.
So if you meet me in person know that I’m just like you. Searching but lost, always wanting more. Those qualifiers are not who I am or who I want to be. They’re just words aimed to label me – and you.
The reason I appear the way I do in person though is because I battle my fears of silence and loneliness. These are a few of the ways…
Daily affirmations. I try to start my day off with them.
- I am beautiful
- I am smart
- I am kind
- I am blessed beyond measure
- I am fulfilled
- I have more than enough
You know what though? Once a day sometimes isn’t enough. There are times that the inside of my chest feels like it’s folding in over itself. Those times when I want to bust out in a fountain of tears and self-pity that is when I need my affirmations most…
“I am beautiful, I am smart, I am kind…”
Feeling supported is so so so important. Never underestimate the touch of another human or the sound of a soothing friends voice. Build and nourish the friendships that are worth it. Find friends who are capable of supporting you and then also be that for them. Family can be familiar as well and help you in those times of self-loathing.
I told you that some of my biggest fears – silence and loneliness. Whenever I am around others I constantly try to fight those fears with talking and jokes.
It’s like a nervous tick.
I assume that no one would want to be around me if they were bored. In order to break this bad habit. I am concentrating on laughing at others jokes and constantly saying yes instead of no. I’ve learned to love my loneliness and to appreciate the beauty in the silence while being around others.
I do my best to challenge my fears. Do I always succeed? No. But that’s okay because I am still trying. Your not going to win every time but at least you are learning from each failure.
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