People always come up to me and tell me the same thing, “You are so bold and never scared to do what you want.”
Well – Those people would be very wrong.

Being social isn’t something you are just gifted with. The people you believe who would never be inept in public are the ones that struggle the most. Being social isn’t something you are born with.
Let me show you my way of dealing with painfully awkward situations.

Be Positive

Get your head in the right place before attempting to meet new people. It can be self-harming when you go out and already have doubt in your thoughts.
Before you go out try this. Look into the mirror and repeat a mantra. It sounds cheesy but it works.
Even I do this sometimes when I am upset or sad. My mantra is “You are good enough.”

Please feel free to take it. But your mantra should be something special and meaningful to you to really be effective.

I repeat this as much as I need to until I feel confident enough to go out.

Be Confident

This is crucial to your social skills development.
Confidence isn’t just willed into existence though.

But you can fake it.

Yes, you heard me right. FAKE IT. Tell your self you are the baddest women/man in the room and just go for it. Lie to yourself.
Like my momma always said, “Fake it, till you make it.” And that is just what I did.
If you don’t think you can fake it then try these other self-starter methods!

  • Put on your favorite outfit. When you look good you feel good! Nothing screams confidence more than those red pumps you have been dying to wear or maybe your favorite sweater that smells like home.
  • Grab a good friend. This is something I do quite frequently actually. Going out on your own can be intimidating and frustrating. So whenever I want to try a new place I phone a friend who I know will boost me and encourage me while I am out and about.
  • Do something you love. If you love painting maybe try an art class and make it your goal to compliment one person on their art. Maybe you’re into athletics? Join an intramural team or sign up for a sports day event.

To be confident you have to keep working at it.


“We can do anything we want to if we stick to it long enough.”  -Helen Keller

The same goes for being social. If you want to overcome being shy then you have to work at it.
A simple way to get better at this is to go sit in a restaurant on a slow day and talk to the staff. I promise as a former bartender that they would rather talk to you than clean in the back.
This will give you an opportunity to practice your social skills on a small scale. Once you master that then maybe go in on a busier day and start up a conversation with others at the bar. They are all there for the same reason you are, they want someone to talk to!
There you have it all my tips and tidbits for becoming more social. Just remember that everyone has the same insecurities and you aren’t alone in your struggle. Your tribe is out there, you just have to be brave enough to go find them. I believe in you!