The hardest part of making new friends or going on dates is the dreaded awkward silence. It seems inevitable but trusts me, my friends, there are ways to NEVER have an awkward silence again. Let me guide you through my tips for becoming an attractive social speaker.
REMOVE YOUR FILTER
I know your momma said to watch what you say, and in most cases, mom is always right, but in this one, you need to think again. Removing your filter allows for a more consistent flow of communication. It also allows for a more human-like interaction. If you are constantly watching all your words then you most likely will be boring and unfortunately, no one likes boring (unless your Squidward.) This also gives you the ability to thread conversations. Threading begins when you (or your conversation partner) make a statement like “I went to Jerusalem this summer.” From there you can either ask her about the trip and what she found most interesting or you can add your own experience into the mix by talking about your own travels.
Family. Occupation. Recreation. Dreams.
This seems pretty self-explanatory. Whenever you find a lull in conversation pick on of these four topics to keep it going. Everyone has family, jobs, recreations they want to talk about. The most in-depth topic here is dreams. Say you’re on a date and they say they’re a teacher or a nurse, you can ask them why (threading.) The way leads to their passions and motivations and from there you can dig deeper and ask them about their dreams. How can you not connect with someone if you are telling them about what your deepest desire and goal is?
If all else fails – LOOK AROUND. You or your partner are both in this place for a reason. If you are on a date ask them why they choose this particular place or if you choose to let them know why you wanted to show them this place. Are you at a party or soiree? Then ask them who you know or who invited you. Sitting down at a chick fil a, comment on your surroundings; how does the food taste or is there a funny picture on the wall? Just take a peek and see what you’re working with!
Below you will find videos to watch that further go in depth about these methods, check them out!